How to live a holiday life, or better yet, how to create a life you love

A French friend of mine regularly threatens to block me on Instagram because my posts of what he calls our “holiday life” frustrate him. He wants to live by the beach and be surrounded by nature, too. But he cannot because he has to live in Hong Kong and work for a living. 

I do not think I am on a permanent holiday – my back certainly disagrees after working in the garden for a full day – but I am happy to live an intentional life, one that is far slower and softer than most lives. One time, I told Markus our days resemble that of retirees: no rush, no schedule, no pressure. Are we not the luckiest?

Being in this position did not happen by accident though. In both our previous lives, we tried the rat race alternative and quickly got out because it did not match our values. Not without damage, of course, but out nonetheless.

Like any young person, I did not know what I wanted. Fortunately, it was enough to know what I did not want for me to be able to design a life that I love.

I knew I hated external structures and rushing and that I am overwhelmed by people. My solution was to work remotely, flexibly, and independently. I have been doing it for years before meeting Markus and it was a joy that our aspirations aligned. The tiny house we have now is by the sea, too, surrounded by a large garden and tall trees that offer us privacy and infinite calm.

We chose all of these things, deliberately, with care and attention. If it resembles a dream life to others, that is because it is – we turned our dream life into a reality because we cannot thrive on anything less. We tried. It was soul-corroding.

In our wellness retreats pre-pandemic, it is all too common to hear participants bemoan their lives, especially their work. It is easy to sympathize – we were on the same spot in another life. But the challenge is changing, or better yet, having the courage to change.

For me, it was easy – I would rather die than live the way I previously did. But for others, it is understandable why aiming for their dream life is daunting.

First of all, their situation is not desperate enough. It sucks but it is okay. Not their dream life but not Hell on Earth either. Second, what will other people say? Will they think you are mad for leaving your job or your relationship “just like that”? Third, the risk is enormous. There are no guarantees that turning your back on your unpalatable life will lead you to your dream life. So many unknowns. I have not met too many people who are not too concerned with remedying uncertainty with certainty.

Fortunately, I am happy to report that most participants in our Thriving Life retreats were able to take the leap: quit a job they hate, get out of a toxic relationship, and even move halfway around the world. Still, there are others who returned to their normal lives, biting the bullet, and promising that once they retire, they will live the lives of their dreams.

I sure cannot wait that long or put my hopes in the future that much. There is only today and I will live my life in the best way I can, in the best way I know how. So far, that means building a tiny house by the beach, living slowly, softly, connectedly, and eating well. I am thankful for this privilege. I can only encourage others to be mindful of how they spend every day because this quickly turns to the rest of your life.

We all have a dream life. While we cannot attain it overnight, we can make small decisions every day to take us closer to making the dream a reality. We may not have wealth, power, or fame but we have a choice. It is up to us to determine the quality of our lives. This is our responsibility, not anyone else’s.

How much do you like your life right now and how much of it did you choose? Would you change anything if you could?

124 thoughts on “How to live a holiday life, or better yet, how to create a life you love

  1. I think it is wonderful that you are happy with your life choices. It is true that many people are not happy. A lot of people are happy initially with their career and life choices. It is different when you are young and childless. All your time is your own and you don’t have the responsibilities of sheltering, developing, educating and caring for other lives. Once people have babies what was previously manageable becomes a continuous race against time. Sadly, at that point in your life, you are often saddled with so many financial responsibilities like a home mortgage, school fees, and the like, it becomes incredibly difficult to break free.

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    1. Agree, Robbie. It is a different life when children and other responsibilities are involved. At the same time, there lies the challenge – how we can mold such a life into one that we love and are content with, not just something we put up with, no?

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  2. Wow! I just headed back to your blog for the first time after my hiatus and this post inspired me so much! Great post and lovely photos!

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  3. Wow, impressed with your blog of festivity and vivacity. LOL. I dream of living a life like yours. I imagine you surrounded by plants, pets, and loving friends and relatives all day long.

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  4. I only work 5 hours so i have time for myself.. might not get a lot of money but we keep our standard so low that we do not miss anything.. i think its just a matter of not being stuck with material / consumerism..

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      1. I was without work for 4 years when i moved in germany.. i miss working and earning but i got used to taking it slow after 4 years also. Husband also do not work much.. mostly 6 to 7 hours.. he said that working more is just money for other people 🀣.. but i lost my sister in the process who does not understand the principle.. she said that we are not giving the best to our kids and feel sorry for them.. spending 100 euro for kids clothes is normal for them.. i go for sale or 5 euro price tag.. hahaha..

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        1. Sorry to hear about your sister. How do you fins this development? I honestly feel it is normal to be misunderstood by people, especially if values are not aligned, and that is okay, even if it is hard. We are allowed to make our own decisions in life, including who we surround ourselves with.

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            1. True. I have faced a similar situation for a time but I am happy to report things improved over time. More important, as long as you are happy and believe in what you do, everything will be fine! Can I ask where is your city you in Germany?

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                  1. A bit cheaper in the east.. but we go sometimes to mannheim where husband’s family live and frankfurt where my main office is but i do home office so i was in frankfurt only 2 times in my 4 years of work.. and sometimes to belgium where my sis lives with her family.. adjustment was ok. Went to integration course and know some pinoy but having a kid kept me busy. Not that kids are in kindergarten, i am happy to have my part time work.
                    You are based in bali now or? If we happened to get lost there, we will looked you up and check the turtles. Kids will love that..My husband is keen on trying out fishing in bali and i want to try balinese food.. always food for me.. hahaha

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                    1. Your work sounds great – just twice at the office in four years? How awesome is that! What is an integration course? In Bali pre-pandemic and in The Ph since covid here at our tiny house. But flying to Germany soon. The turtles nest here in The Ph and the best time to see hatchlings is early in the year. And yes to Balinese food! It inspired us a lot in what we do here. Can check it out on Ig @tinyhousebagac if you want to.

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                    2. Integration is mandatory course to learn german language and politics. Tiny house is in bagac, bataan? Haven’t explored much of manila yet.. followed tinyhousebagac.. 😁

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                    3. Oh, when is the integratiom course taken? After A1 and before the residence permit? And yes, in Bataan. What was your city before moving to Germany? I have not explored Manila in this “exploration and del connection” way but I lived in Makati for years when I moved out.

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                    4. Permanent residence permit requires passing the b1 german.. for german citizenship then the b1 plus the politics exam but i did not apply for german citizenship yet so not 100% sure.. without passing the b1 test, you need to keep on renewing your permit which can be costly.

                      I am from cebu city… traffic in cebu is now becoming like in the manila center.. we once rented a car and it was an experience driving around manila.. but once you get passed the highway going to the province, it is better… we like the countryside more… we can breathe better… hahaha

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                    5. Thank you for sharing this info. Really helpful. Also I will follow you back on Ig from our personal account. And I see what you mean with Cebu. It has been like that for years, but I like your province, especially the pockets of nature you mentioned. When was the last time you were back?

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                    6. 2019.. pre-covid… before boy turned 2 and does not cost a seat yet.. hahaha.. dont know yet when we can returned.. my parents refused the vaccine because they said that they are already old..🀯

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  5. I often think about my lifestyle and wonder if I can start pursuing a lifestyle, not like yours but maybe a bit similar. Something with freedom, not working for capitalists (LOL). But when I think about it, I can’t think of any other lifestyle than what I have now. At least, not as yet.

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          1. I live in a small island, and I when I have free time I write and swim of course. But work always comes first. And, even after working hours, they still ask us to work since we are all there anyway haha.

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  6. I love this! And i missed reading your posts ❀ i believe i am living my dream life, while still working towards a dream house. In the past I used to think i couldn’t have the life i wanted until i’m in the “perfect” setting, but now i know better. Life’s not perfect, but at least i don’t feel i’m wasting away everyday. quitting corporate is really one of the best decisions i’ve ever made πŸ˜„

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  7. good to see you both on Sean’s post…. so sweet of him.
    I hope you are feeling better everyday.. I’ve missed your posts but this was rock solid with sound advice and your pics say it all.
    Sending love xoxoxoo πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸŒˆπŸŒˆ

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              1. You’re so welcome. wow… can you just do the breathing piece? I’m not worried about you being caught up on my post… I’m just concerned about you.
                Do a lot of visualizations etc.
                sending love and hugs todayπŸ’–

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                1. I cannot thank you enough, Cindy, and yes, I will follow your advice. Appreciate all the love you send. I am lucky to have wonderful blog friends who genuinely care. I feel you all are a part of my life. Will update about the health in a week if there is any progress.

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                  1. It’s my pleasure.. I’m so glad to know that and also know that I will send you some daily Reiki energy so stay tuned for a frequency lift. Yes, you are lucky and deserving. We have an amazing blog family. Keep the mantra in your head… “I am healthy, I am vibrant, I am strong and I am healed”.
                    I’ll look forward to hearing good news.. xoxooxxoxo πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–

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  8. It can be so easy to forget that nothing in life is permanent. Everyone has the power to leave bad jobs, go on new adventures, and create lives that are worth waking up to. Lovely post, and something I certainly needed to read!

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    1. Excellent point, Katie. I suppose the difference lies in knowing this fact and taking action, and also having the mental space to reimagine our lives. That there is something more than what we currently settle for. It is terrifying though. Have you experienced having to redesign your life, too?

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      1. Yes I live a bit of a unconventional life. Before COVID hit, I was a performer on cruiseships and was constantly redefining my life as I’d move in and out of NYC. Now, I’m in Australia with my partner and literally no clue what will be next! Mexico? Thailand? Somewhere in South America? I’m embracing a digital nomad.l. who knows what will happen next!

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        1. Wonderful! Thanl you for sharing a little piece of your life. Your attitude is so refreshing. It reminds me that the world is large contrary to what this pandemic makes us believe. Pre-pandemic we were also digital nomads. Fun lifestyle. Write us when you manage to wash ashore in The Ph, okay?

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  9. From my perspective you live a purposeful and intentional life, not a holiday life. I admire you for this. Not everyone lives their life with purpose and intention, they just go through “the daily grind.” I admit I was like that too. Now I spend my days balancing what brings me joy along with my medical care so I can have the best quality of life possible.

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    1. Thank you, Amy. Much respect to how you live, too. Not easy to navigate your situation but you cope and thrive, also thanks to G. This makes me think of the impact people around us have on the quality of our lives, too.

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      1. Thank you πŸ™‚ I completely agree with you that people around us have an impact on our quality of life. I have found myself much more at peace once I distanced myself from toxic people. My circle of people I surround myself with may not be large, but the love and respect between us is genuine and meaningful.

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        1. Agree. This is something I often take away from your posts. We can choose who we let into our lives. And we must if we are to stay sane. Haha. I told Markus I only have one friend, because I do not take this word lightly, and my one friend is enough for me and more.

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  10. I’ve been wondering what had become of you. Hadn’t seen you commenting on the blog, but now I know you’re living your dream life! Good for you. In answer to your questions:
    How much do you like your life right now and how much of it did you choose? I love my life right now even though I did not chose to be where I am. That being said I’ve adapted and feel more centered because of it. If you always got what you wanted, how would come to know yourself better?
    Would you change anything if you could? The only thing I’d change is I’d like a new car. Much of my life involves driving and my 18 y.o. vehicle might not be the safest.

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    1. I was ill, Mrs. Bean (previous post), actually still ill and taking medications now. June came hard and I am still dealing with it. You raise a good point – challenge is indeed a part of growing. How come you ended up living somewhere you did not choose? And I hope you are able to get a safer vehicle. Important in this case. Still very much impressed that the car is age 18.

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      1. Sorry you’re not feeling better yet. That is just wrong, I tell you. My husband got the job of his dreams here, so we moved here. As for the car I’m looking for a new one, but have yet to find the just right one. Think Goldilocks.

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  11. You are living the life!!!
    I have been talking to my husband about living in Hawaii with his sister… oh how we both loved it. But he’d always end up saying, “I can live there, I just don’t know if you could! You say all these things about wanting to move to the province but in the end, between you and I, you are the one whose life is fast-paced and never knows how to relax. It’s you who open your work portal on weekends and it’s you who requests for vpn even on trips abroad to access work… ”
    Then I realized, he’s right. It’s impossible for me to relax and I still like it.

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    1. Talking about it is a good start, and also being aware of our preferences. Maybe you can find a place that is somewhere in between, perhaps something that is not too far from the city but still affords some quiet when you want it?

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      1. He’d always say I’d do well in New Jersey as a compromise. Because he believes I would wanna be in NY but live somewhere I could be in peace. — It’s weird how I have always seen myself as an LA person, with my very laidback personality carrying my nitro brew or juiced meal and my husband would just interject, “WHAT?!!! You’re the least laidback person I know!”
        But yes, I do understand your point…perhaps when Brook is older, I can be a little rested…

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        1. Your husband has a point. NJ is a good candidate based on location. I understand your priorities as a mother but I hope you remember that time waits for no one. My mother often said she would travel more when we are older but now that we are all grown-up, it is incredibly hard to find a schedule where everyone can travel as a family and so she is unable to go anywhere still or not as much as she would like. I thought it would have been easier before since she can just drag us all as she pleased.

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          1. I know. I get jealous always became mom and dad travel with Fae all the time. They also waited til they’re older to enjoy these destinations… I am happy because both of them were very poor growing up… seeing them travel the world with comfort and convenience makes me so happy. I just wish their retirement will suit their health.

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            1. That is nice to hear. They deserve all the nice things on their retirement after sacrificing so much. Before covid last year, we organized a holiday for my family in Bali. It was the biggest bummer to cancel our plans!

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  12. Hear hear!
    “I am happy to live an intentional life” πŸ’– πŸ‘
    I love that you both are willing to choose this life, even though you had to give up certain things. I think that’s what most people don’t realise – you have this idyllic life, but you did have to make a decision and walk a different path. It isn’t always easy, nor the most societally accepted. And yet, you have done it! As a young couple! Hurray!

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    1. Thank you. And that is just the thing – we do not feel like we are missing out on anything and in fact feel like we are getting so much more from our life. Of course, it is different for everyone and that is fine as long as we spend our days with meaning. For example, I respect you for running daily and enjoy your running posts but I would rather die than run. Hahaha.

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  13. Wise words and reflections.

    I think the initial mental leap that’s required to live a more intentional life is to acknowledge that you don’t need X income or X possessions to be happy. In my early 30s I decided to be “semi-retired” for the rest of my life. I saw too many people working hard in jobs they hated to reach the goal of retirement at age 60 or 65 when life would be good (they hoped). But when they got there (if they did; some died before those ages), they weren’t healthy and couldn’t do all the activities they’d sworn they would in retirement. I began to see the traditional concept of retirement as an awful joke. I chose a different path, working part time while enjoying life and travel, knowing I’d be “working” at some sort of income-producing activity well into my 70s or 80s to support myself, but I also knew that would keep life interesting. To broaden my income-earning skill base, I studied writing, something I can do regardless of age, location or physical ability. And most recently I’ve added “pet sitter” to my resume, caring for the cats of friends when they go on vacation, a win-win for us all.

    Thinking and planning outside the “retirement” box has allowed me to live simply and happily, starting from my 30s and now midway through my 60s. The future is bright!

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    1. You are an inspiration, Rebecca. Thank you for sharing. Cannot agree more. Life waits for nobody and it is a big gamble to delay living today for an uncertain tomorrow. Your first point is so right. It gets easier when we define our essentials and often they are shockingly so little! I suppose this highlights reflection and investing in personal development. It is really worth it. Our quality of life increases by a lot!

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    1. Thank you, Michele. We try to make it easy for ourselves and that means being true to what we believe in. We can only wish the same for everyone because we all deserve to live a life that we love.

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  14. Great post, Micah – one that resonates very strongly with me. I like my life a lot and I have chosen the whole box and dice (which does align very strongly with Linda’s view of the world). It is far from perfect, and despite those days where it is a bust, the reward of enjoying the flexibility I have (and we have as a family) more than makes up for it.

    This is exactly the conversation I was having with a couple of colleagues yesterday. I mentioned that I don’t need to chase down work and clients or have any intention of becoming part of the rat race again. I said that when others ask me why I knock back work on a regular basis, I respond “because, I can.” Everyone nodded their head in agreement. It did take me 24 years to figure that one out though 😊

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    1. Inspiring as always, Sean. Thank you. Really glad that your days are just as you want them and even more impressed that you have chosen everything so far. Definitely something we can be proud of! And it is the coolest that your path aligns with Linda. This matters a lot in a partnership, right? Makes every day easier!

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  15. Very interesting post and thoughts. I completely agree with you: most of the times, when people say they “cannot” do something it is because that thing is scary, and taking the leap is not easy! I absolutely admire people whi manage to do that and I sometimes think that one day I might just quit my job and live far away from everything in a cute cottage by the beach 😁 I love my life right now but it is true that I would love to work just a little less ahaha

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      1. Well, it mostly comes in waves at my job, and sometimes the whole team is under a lot of pressure, and since we work as a team, if I work less, they have to work more 😊

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  16. I am retired from work so I am very happy. I didn’t “choose” to retire but I was at retirement age at the time, however, I chose to retire 6 months early to help my wife as she had had a difficult surgical operation. If there was something I could change it would be to live closer to my daughters. Also, it would be nice to live on the coast, although nowhere in NI is that far from the sea. πŸ˜ŠπŸ™‹β€β™‚οΈ

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      1. No not really! I was data inputting in the local hospital laboratory. It was important, vital work and the people were great but the actual work was highly focused and in the end quite boring! I’m very lucky to have my wife! πŸ’–

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  17. I am lucky enough to be retired. I’ve retired at 59, 3 years ago. It is wonderful. There are still responsibilities and obligations, but for the most part, our time is our own. We can make choices of how to spend our days. You are wise to make mindful choices of how to spend your life at such a young age. Even being retired, it is important to always be mindful of – is this how I want to spend my time? Thanks for a thoughtful post, and enjoy your day!

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      1. I was a director at a community college. It was a job with a lot of purpose, and I enjoyed many wonderful coworkers. However, there was job stress which wore on me. Before I was a director, I was an instructor. That was very rewarding, but after 11 years, I was ready for the challenge of being a director. I worked at the college for about 25 years. Overall, I was happy, but at the end of my career, I was happy to retire. πŸ™‚ Thanks for asking, and enjoy your day!

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        1. Love how you said it was a job with a purpose. I feel this is the key to growing and staying motivated and not going crazy. Haha. So you did not have problems transitioning to retired life? I know some people feel a little lost and confused without their careers.

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          1. It was a smooth transition for me. Very easy. I have lots of interests and hobbies. Also, at the time I did a lot for my uncle (who has passed) and my mom who is currently 98.

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    1. Thank you, Alison. We have learned early on that it is important to determine your life, otherwise other people will! How much of your life did you choose and how do you feel about how it went so far?

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      1. I have to say I’ve had a brilliant life so far. I have this way of thinking that if things don’t go my way I’ll accept the way they do go. It’s helped a lot with any disappointments I’ve had along the way. We are both retired in Perth WA so it doesn’t get much better than that. Of course there have been ups and downs and some scary health moments, by-passes for hubby and a life threatening issue for me many many years ago. But we will continue to enjoy what life brings, hope you do too.

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        1. What a refreshing attitude, Alison. Thank you for sharing. Worth a lot to be able to roll with life. I try to flow, too, and keep trying even if it gets challenging at times just as you mentioned. Really glad your health issues were cleared. Hoping nothing like that happens again for you.

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      1. The only wise way to deal with no matching goals, values and intentions is acceptance for our partner the way he/she is and finding ways to be a peace with it while setting our own goals and intentions at least for how you want to live internally…given the fact that when in a couple there is a mismatch of intentions there is little room for controlling where you live externally. After all the only reason why we try to improve our external circumstances is because we want to feel good inside

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        1. I understand. I am amazed at how you do it! I cannot imagine having to put up with Markus if our values and intentions did not match. Haha. This is one reason why I chose to be single for long. I wanted to find a person whose path is parallel with mine.

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          1. In hindsight I must admit that I should have pondered all the variables involved in marrying the person I married much deeper…but there are ways to make things work out even if one failed to weigh every single factor upstream

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              1. Yes, dwelling on the past makes no sense nor does dwelling on what ifs. I don’t really know if by making different decisions about marriage I would have created a dream life

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  18. First, let me say how much I admire you, Micah and Markus, for having the courage to live life on your own terms. I’m just a little jealous, mainly of the fact that you live close to the sea.
    How much do I like my life right now and how much did I choose? Those are great questions. Overall, I do like my life. I have a job that I enjoy – most days – that gives me a chance to do work that I think is important and has the ability to make a difference in people’s lives. I love my home and my family, and I have the time and resources to do fun things. I’m getting to the stage where I’d like to work less and have more leisure time. I just need to create a plan over the next couple of years to make that happen. And I will!
    How much did I choose? Hmm. I suppose in the end, we all make choices about everything in our lives. I chose to marry my husband. Years ago, I chose to leave a job I didn’t enjoy to work in the field I’m in right now. I recently chose to withdraw my application for a job I had a pretty good shot at because it didn’t feel like the right move for me – so I suppose that means I chose to stay in my current job – for better or for worse. I chose to have 2 children and I love my daughters more than anything.
    Years ago, a former boss and I used to talk a lot about financial independence and what we called the β€œF*#K you chair”. Basically, it meant having the financial resources to be able to say β€œF*#K you” and walk away from your job at any time if it wasn’t bringing you joy. I’ve never felt a strong need for a bigger house, or a nicer car, or to accumulate things to impress others. The desire for those material possessions are what make some people feel trapped at work and a slave to their lives.
    Well, that turned into quite the essay. Bottom line – for now, I’ll sit comfortably in the β€œF#*K you chair” knowing I can walk away if I want to.

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    1. Thank you for such a thoughtful comment, Michelle. Respect you a lot for your mindful choices. It sounds like a good life even if you do not live by the beach! The fck you chair is awesome and you make an essential point. When we live for ourselves, we often need very little. There is a notion of satisfaction and reward. It also feels infinitely liberating that we can say no anytime and walk away. You are definitely a rockstar. This attitude is that of rockstars. Haha!

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  19. To be honest, I am envious of you too but in a good way – like I hope to get there some day sort of way. Maybe the right word is – I am inspired by you two. πŸ™‚
    I quit my blood sucking corporate job last year – like you – I just couldn’t do it anymore despite the amazing perks. It was very scary, still is – while things figure out. I had originally planned to travel all of 2020 but well, COVID happened. But the time I had in 2020, I used to think of a business plan and I finally launched my own business this year. πŸ˜€ While it is still WIP – but it is exciting, different and makes me feel more alive than my corporate job ever did. Here’s hoping it works out – else, I’ll join you as a helping hand! πŸ˜›

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    1. Very well done for taking the leap. Freaking scary, isn’t it? But it is the most glorious thing ever – so liberating. You have so many things to be proud of, especially launching your business in the middle of a pandemic. That takes plenty of guts! Life only gets better from here because you are free. Wishing you continued inspiration and courage to shape your world.

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  20. “Has” to live in HongKong? Trapped by the new political landscape?
    I follow another couple, living a life similar to yours in North Shore Oahu Hawaii. I hope to stay at their rental some day.
    If not for my billion cats I would either be dead or abandoning my current life in favor of a laid back tropical life. I look into expat options all the time but I can’t take my cats, and would never put them on planes anyway.
    What to you envision for life in your 50s and older? In my head, a well paced, lower stress, life in 20s to 40s is countered by stress from physical limitations as one ages. But, then, I got a lot of pain and physical limitations as I aged. Hopefully you will not!

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    1. But you will stay at our tiny house first, right? Haha. Yes, I understand your predicament with the cats. It is a big commitment. Sometimes I feel the same with my plants but so far we have been able to find solutions. As for my friend, he is still in HK. I am certain he will get out if the situation gets really bad. So far, it seems bearable.

      Liked by 1 person

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