How to be in love : 24 months special, Part 1

Yes, it has been 24 months already. 24 months ago, we began our relationship, and a lot has happened since then. So, in good sharing fashion, here are our thoughts on 24 months of relationship, from both our perspectives, in 12 points each! Defying convention I’ll go first, and Micah will bring it home in the next post.

1. No shit.

Point number one is rule number one. No bullshitting or around-the-bush beating, Micah and I aspire to true honesty and openness in our relationship. We are both introverts and I know I can sometimes be cagey when I should not be, but by and large, I think we are rocking it so far.

2. Space…

Nothing can exist without space to exist in and relationships are no different. Whenever we can, we create space for each other. Sometimes it’s hard, especially in these pandemonious times. But the good old trick of just having some time during the day that is reserved for nothing has not failed us so far.

3. …and time.

Things take time. I often take days to know what’s up with me, so even when I want to share I can’t until some time has passed. Finding the right balance between communicating what is there even if it’s incomplete, and letting off even if you know something’s going on is a continuous process.

4. Happiness shared…

Happiness doesn’t come naturally to either of us. But so far, we have always managed to bring lightness to each other’s lives – whether through patience and understanding, common goals and mutual support, or just sending everyone and everything else to hell once in a while.

5. …burdens halved.

Both of us have a history of depression, anxiety and a maladaptive ‘screw it’ attitude to life. But together, we are helping each other in seeing that these things are okay. Lame as it may seem, communication really is the key to moving on from things, and thanks to Micah, I have been moving on from shit for 24 months now.

6. The small things.

We all know it’s the small things that count. Granted, just looking at a picture of Micah may tell you that small is the name of the show, but she truly is the queen of knowing just when that little squeeze, nudge or tasty snack will completely turn my day around for the better.

7. Travel.

To live means to travel, at least to us. Micah and I have been all around Southeast Asia, both separately and together. While we are still waiting for the curse that keeps us out of Vietnam to lift (5 tries and counting, something just always comes up!), we can never wait to feel the road under our feet again, no matter where the journey goes.

8. Finding meaning.

What is your Thriving Life? We ask ourselves that question a lot and work on building ours together. Retreats, our Tiny House by the beach, a nice café and this blog – finding meaning where there is none is a challenge for all of us, and I am grateful that Micah and I can tackle it together.

9. Being alive.

To exist does not mean to live. Both Micah and I have existed for years, seemingly unable to find our connection to life. Micah is the one who always shows me that connection, with her unending appreciation for everything that is alive and free.

10. Growing, always.

Aspiring to eternal growth is easier said than done. My addictive personality constantly tempts me to get stuck on things. Videogames mostly. Micah is the one who snaps me out of it and helps me refocus on what truly matters.

11. Faith.

Our frequent times away from each other mean that faith is everything. Faith in each other, in the relationship and in the future that we are building together. I never doubted any of these things, which is just one of the reasons why our relationship is so precious to me.

12. Togetherness.

Finally, a feeling that is hard to describe. To be with someone while not really feeling that you are with another person. Instead, it is almost as if you are with yourself, but in a much deeper, lighter, happier, more refreshing way. Our togetherness is what I value most about our relationship, and the main reason why I can’t wait to see what the next 24 months are going to bring.